The Straw That Broke the Camel's Brain

(For the sake of not being a total jerk, I'll be referring to my boyfriend as 'Batman'. It is probably as close as I'll ever get to dating a superhero. I, of course, will be 'Catwoman'.)

So, Batman and I have been together for over 5 years. We get along famously. We met in college, and even though we didn't start dating right away, we definitely meshed well, and our friends all felt it was a matter of time before we ended up together. The last few years, we've had to do things long distance because of school, but our relationship is as strong as ever, and last year we got engaged. Yay!

Of course, this meant that he was going to have to tell his mom about me.

"Wait a minute," you say, "You dated for years- and he never told his mother about you? Trust issues much? Fear of commitment? What is up with that?"

And in a normal scenario, you'd be right. Truth is he wasn't ashamed of me (I met his dad fairly early on) but of his mother. After a totally embarrassing situation with one of Batman's brothers and his girlfriend, he decided that mom didn't necessarily need to be privy to everything going on in his life.

Still sounds pretty strange, I admit.

Basically, he was concerned about stuff like the following letter (received this week).

Dear Batman,
We need to talk about Catwoman. I am in denial.
*Consider meeting
other young, slim, healthy well educated college girls + grad students.
(in NY + S Florida, many are even Jewish, with professional parents)
Write down a list of your priorities.
Thanks-
Love, Mom

Clearly she is feeling the love. (I should point that my parents both have college degrees. My mother is a teacher, and my dad is a minister. Both of them are happy and supportive of us.)

About my education:
I admit, this is a spotty part of my history. I enrolled at a private University (where I met Batman) and attended for three years before returning to my home state for a number of reasons. Some of it was financial (I wasn't going to be able to afford the fifth year I would have needed to graduate there) and some of it was just realizing that my major at the time wasn't where my passion was. I had a bit of a rocky time back home before finally deciding to do what I loved, and I entered culinary school. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was the right one for me. I'm satisfied with my work and happy -(and seeing as how I am up before 6am every day, and work two jobs after my full class load, that's saying something!) and I look forward to a career that is going to let me do what I love. (Plus, cooking and culinary school is awesome for conversation starters. Everyone eats!)
Anyways, enough about that- we have a two-fer!

What would a little mom correspondence be without some Swine Flu panic?

Dear Batman,
SWINE FLU is DEADLY and IS SPREADING.
Do not travel to MEXICO.
DO NOT VISIT people who travel to MEXICO.
AVOID people with FLU Symptoms, respiratory coughing, fever...
Good idea to wear a face mask on an airplane.
Good Hygiene- hand washing etc.
Mom-

Noteworthy in this letter:
-I live in Texas, Batman is Indiana. MILP in question has already made not-so-subtle comments about the fact that I'm Hispanic (more on that later) but I can't help but wonder if she's trying to keep him away from me with this DEADLY FLU. (Because I go to Mexico ALL THE TIME.)
-The flu is a virus. Wearing a face mask will do jack squat against something that tiny.

More to come. The laughs keep rolling in. XD