Wow. Just... wow.

Now, to be fair, the letters I received in the mail today were sent out Wednesday and Thursday. One of them is directly related to an hour long phone "conversation" MILP had with my mother on the phone. (The two of them were talking because my mother refused to pass the phone to me as MILP demanded, because she knows I'm not keen on arguing. The last time I tried to have a phone conversation with MILP it was half an hour of her repeating the same demands she's had for the past several months, telling me what was "needed" and "required"....but we'll get to that later.)

After these letters were mailed- on Sunday (Sunday morning to be precise, as my family was getting ready to leave for church. Because we go to church every Sunday. My dad is the pastor. MILP knows this, so why she thought it would be a good time to call eludes me.) apparently to apologize. Maybe someone talked some sense in to her, maybe she had a sudden (and hopefully lasting) change of mind or change of heart.

At any rate- here are the letters that came in the mail for me today.

First was a card that read
"Want to know what I think?" [er.... do I have to answer that?]
"Warm and caring thoughts of you."
Inside, MILP wrote
"Dear [Catwoman],
A Ketubah - Jewish
(Marriage contract)
is
required.
Please selct your
favorite.
List
1)
2)
3)
I'll see what is available.
(Other interfaith Ketubah online)
Mrs. MILP"

Now... here's the thing that just seems to stump MILP. I'm not Jewish. Not converting. No matter how many times you ask. I'm a fan of Jews. I worship one as the Messiah! I'm not going to change that just so she can tell all her friends. Sorry. MILP has gone on at length about how a mixed marriage isn't recognized, how it has no legal standing as far as Orthodox Jews are concerned. Welp. That's just too bad. But if that is the case- what the HELL is the point of a Jewish marriage contract? NOT INTERESTED. BATMAN IS NOT INTERESTED. SERIOUSLY LADY.

Now.... here is the good bit. In another envelope came... well... not really a letter. It seems more like an essay or a diary entry. She did write a few handwritten notes on the printout and draw a few arrows to highlight important bits, but it seems that she wrote this one page essay to send out to people to try and garner some sympathy for herself. Well, far be it from me to keep this information hidden from people.


[Catwoman,]

The Mothers of the Bride and Groom
[This really was centered like a title on an essay. Is she submitting this to a newsletter?]


My husband and I waited for months to hear more details of the wedding. Every day I checked my E-mails and there was nothing from Texas, not from [Catwoman], her parents or sisters. By U.S. postal, we had received the invitation only. [Yeah, and I still haven't received their RSVP, I guess they're still deciding if they want to come.] I asked my husband about phone calls- nothing. Now news. Just silence. I felt left out of the most important decision of my son's life- marriage. [Welp, since Batman himself has blocked all of her emails and chooses to only judiciously contact her at all, it would seem strange for me to respond, especially since when I do all she does is tell me what is 'required' and what it is *I* will want. How does she know what I want?]

I gathered the courage to call the Pastor's wife in Texas, a lovely petite woman from Nicaragua. I politely inquired about everyone's health and chatted about minor topics toe ase into the more difficult question- why are [Catwoman] & [Batman] getting married. [Seriously? 3 weeks before and this is the question on your mind?] I had asked if she and the Pastor had talked to [Catwoman] about the religious conflicts of an inter-faith marraige, such as "do they plan to join a synagogue or church? What holidays do they plan to celebrate? Are they planning to raise the children Jewish of Christian?" Her response was evasive - "talk to [Catwoman]". [This is inaccurate. What my mother told her was to "Talk to [Batman]"- not to be evasive, but because my mother, who I think knows him better than his own mother thought she ought to try and understand her son's priorities and desires.] I also asked if the family had considered our very important requests for an officiating Rabbi, for a chuppah, for the wedding not to be on the Jewish Sabbath. [What MILP omits is that my mother related the full course of events. As Batman and I were looking in to making some of these changes, MILP threw a hissy fit, saying that she and her husband were not to have their names on the invitations. Fed up with her behavior, and unwilling to let actions like that seem acceptable, we decided to leave things as they were, rather than try to make last minute changes such as a date change- which would inconvenience our friends who have supported us from the start.]

Had [Catwoman] met with a Rabbi to discuss conversion; as this was our expectation. [I don't know why. Andrew and I have both repeatedly told her this was not going to happen, both verbally and in writing.] I explained that I had studied for a year and a half with a Rabbi before my conversion, and had gone to the Mikvah. With heartfelt emotion, I continued; "all men in the Share family had always married Jewish" and that we honored a religion and culture 3000 years old. [Clearly, the fact that other people have done something is a reason enough to keep doing it.] "No, she is not converting," the mother firmly replied. I was a bit stunned by her negative attitude, [Actually, it is a positive attitude towards supporting her daughter's decisions] and then requested "Would [Catwoman] be able to visit us in Florida before the wedding? We would like to have an egagement party for her and to introduce her to our friends and relatives." [All of these friends and relatives who will not be accepting me because I'm not Jewish, I guess.] "No, [Catwoman] is busy with her wedding plans." [With the wedding weeks away, this is accurate. Also my mother told her that I wouldn't want to visit without Batman. Both of his parents alone set me on edge and make me uncomfortable even with him there.] I was starting to feel that this ceremony was all about HER. [Um. Look, far be it from me to be the kind of annoying princess that whines about how "IT'S MY PERFECT DAAAAAAAAAAAY" but... seriously lady? If I wanted to I could and it would almost be legitimate. It's just your good fortune that your son is marrying someone with a good head on her shoulders who doesn't get wrapped up in that kind of nonsense. But... I'll tell you one thing, our wedding sure as hell isn't about YOU.] It seems that the 130 guests would all be from her Baptist side of the family. [Except for all of the mutual friends that Batman and I have made over the years. And your 15 or so family members from Virgina. And Batman's aunt and uncle from his dad's side of the family who have been nothing but loving, welcoming, and supportive since we first met.] They were not inclusive of our kosher Jewish friends and relatives at all. When I asked for [Catwoman's] phone number, the mother responded that "No, I won't give it out- I don't want to stress her." [Thanks mom!] I expressed my deepest concern, that she did not understand our family's religion or traditions, strict Jewish marriage requirements, and that the couple had not discussed extremely important life decisions, such as raising children. [I'm not sure why she is so sure of this. Batman and I talk nightly for at least an hour. While a lot of it is silliness, we have talked about future plans such as children etc. I work with children all the time, do you really think I'd forget that they need to be brought up? Batman and I have been engaged for over a year- how would these things not come up?] I felt that "they were not ready to get married." "I'm staying out of it"- the Pastors wife was sounding defensive and trying to avoid my concerns. [No- she was trying to avoid getting in another pointless argument. I often find that when people accuse someone of being 'defensive' they are completely unaware that it is because they themselves are being offensive.] This was becoming a verbal fist fight, the beginnings of a religious war. [@.o] Imagine two women fighting over the affection of one man. [Wait, what? Do you really think there is anything *like* a competition for Batman's love right now? First of all, that's ridiculous. Second of all, if there was a competition going on... dear old mummy here isn't the long shot, she's not even at the track.] We were unfortunately, two very different mothers of different cultures and religious beliefs, [Yep. Christianity and Judaism share no common ground whatsoever. All those early Christians were actually Chinese and ate only BBQ pork. Mmm... BBQ pork....] who were linked by my much loved son, Andrew.

What is your phone # E-mail?
Please keep in touch. Thank you
Love Mrs [MILP]


I'm not really sure what else I can say, other than I hope that the phone call on Sunday morning indicates she's reconsidered this notion of a "religious war" over her son. Optimism much?